How many friends is to many? That is a question that I have often pondered myself. I have never actually thought I have to many of what I call "true friends." We all go through our lives making friends wherever we go. We start as little children going to pre-school where we make our first batch of friends. I am not going to say these relationships stand the test of time, especially if after the 4-year old graduation ceremony you never see each other again. I still here from my mom, "Hey. Y'all went to Leika's together." My response is normally, "Oh...that's cool." (Leika's was the name of my pre-school." Now, the relationships that began to form when I began kindergarten, at five years old, is a completely different story. I'm not sure many people can say that they still have friendships from when they were in kindergarten, but I most definitely can. Honestly, I think that has a lot to do with where I was brought up and the school I attended. Let me give you a brief overview. I started kindergarten in 1993 at a small private school which consisted of approximately 350 students including myself. My kindergarten class had 36. Be aware this was a massive class for the school at this time. We were all cramped into this small little building, that wasn't even attached to the school, for eight hours a day. When I say cramped, I mean squished. In order for us to take our "daily nap" the chairs had to be picked up off the floor and put on the tables so we could lay down our mats and sleep. Now, to some this may have been inconvenient, but at 5 years old you don't know that. In our case the inconvenience didn't matter; we were making friendships that would stand the test of time. Most of us that started kindergarten together graduted high school together. When I graduated high school in 2006 it was shared with these people that I had grown up with. Out of the 26 people in my graduating class (yes...I said 26) I had gone to school with all of them for most of my life. Was graduating a bittersweet moment? Absolutely. For 13 years we had been through everything together. We would finish one school year and know exactly who we would see when we returned the following August. There was hardly ever any change and it was a comforting feeling, for me at least, to know exactly who I would be sitting next to on the first day of school. When I graduated high school that comfort feeling disappeared for me entirely.
When I left for college I was the only one attending Troy University from my high school. I knew maybe one person when I arrived at my home away from home. The word terrified doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I moved away from home for the first time and went to a town where I knew no one. I was starting over and I had to make all new friends. For someone who had the same friends for 13 years that was a terrifying thought. Honestly, it was the best thing I ever did. I joined a sorority and was met with some of the greatest girls that made my four years at Troy some of the best years of my life. I have never once regretted going to Troy, to a school where I knew no one, because I was forced out of my comfort zone to meet people. If I hadn't done that I would not have the friends I have today. I have several that I still keep in constant contact with; My Girls.
It seems that everywhere you go you make a new group of friends. I moved to Nashville in 2010 for my internship and made some of the best friends. Our "little group" from those 5 months has stayed in close contact and it has been over three years. We all bonded because of where we were and I can now say that I have friends all over the country and I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to know all of them. One friend that I made during those five months is one of those that you feel that you have known your entire life. We live on different sides of the country, but somehow we manage to see each other about twice a year.
I read an article for one of my graduate school classes that gives the idea that people who have more friends make more money. If you went by Facebook friend list and that study you would think I was rolling in the dough. Honestly, many of the people on my Facebook friends list are not people that I talk to regularly. Sure, I have many people that I love to keep in touch with because we grew up together or we had some great times in college. Do I call them close? Could I call one of them to discuss my problems with? Would they be there for me if I were in trouble? Not all of them, no. I have about 5 or 6 friends that I could call and they would drop everything for me. I know that. They know the same thing about me. I don't think friendship is a statistical matter, nor do I think true friendship is judged on how many friends you have. That is not the point to the word. Frienship is between two people and it is a relationship. It has to be nurtured and communication is required, just as with a significant other. My life is made up of friendships; old friendships and new friendships. The point is that no one person, no study, can tell you what the ideal number of friendships are. We all have the ability to have many friends, some close and some not. I have been blessed to continue friendships that started when I was five years old and make new ones. That is a blessing in itself.
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